A collection of images gathered from the hidden corners of the internet paired with comments from my open mind.Tumblr (3.0; @witsordagger)http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lbqmmjYTCW1qc0vl1o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>When Jimmy took over the house from his parents, his first order was to execute any and all fruits and vegetables.</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/11570460162http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/11570460162Mon, 17 Oct 2011 10:00:05 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lk58iwxG2m1qz5q5oo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Excuse me, bar tender, do you have any larger wine glasses?</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/11523065739http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/11523065739Sun, 16 Oct 2011 10:00:06 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lm0z0iPQJ21qb7dheo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>“Bear, you damn fool, move! You’re blocking my little girl!”</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/11515902273http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/11515902273Sun, 16 Oct 2011 03:20:04 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnwn5fON8d1qcly3to1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>No matter how hard doctors tried throughout the fifties, they were unable to cure someone of being a woman.</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/11515886666http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/11515886666Sun, 16 Oct 2011 03:19:15 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpma1nfcha1qct02go1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>If there was a manhole cover transformer it would be a horseshoe crab and it would totally suck.</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/9876941894http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/9876941894Tue, 06 Sep 2011 10:00:05 -0400animalcrabhorseshoe crabcreaturearthropodswateroceanbeautifulshallowsandshorebeach<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqyva7TbLf1qa3yjmo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Will <em>you </em>be prepared when every building unexpectedly turns to salt water taffy?</p> <p>Don’t wait until it’s too late. Buy <strong>Taffy-Guard</strong> today.</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/9856975101http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/9856975101Mon, 05 Sep 2011 20:05:05 -0400earl bergeypulp artvintage<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l20q3qyEKt1qztgteo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>And, ladies and gentlemen of the audience, this is the vein that swells whenever Fox News is on. It is your heart’s attempt to kill you.</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/9797035593http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/9797035593Sun, 04 Sep 2011 14:14:04 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqlj4gA70Y1qz5i2go1_500.gif"/><br/><br/><p>Jackie Chan doesn’t know a thing about eating soup.</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/9783494570http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/9783494570Sun, 04 Sep 2011 05:08:41 -0400jackie chanskills<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqap83uwYZ1qzw235o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>What does it say about our culture when the only sculptures people see are made of butter at the state fair?</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/9220453495http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/9220453495Sun, 21 Aug 2011 16:36:00 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqalvrgDWW1qz8yr3o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Though loved by man-children everywhere, the adult Big Wheel sold poorly in North America and was ultimately cancelled.</p> <p>(photo via <a href="http://tofuttibreak.tumblr.com/post/9217527686">tofuttibreak</a>)</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/9220207979http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/9220207979Sun, 21 Aug 2011 16:30:08 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lq3973KB2k1qz6f9yo1_r1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Please, Batman, don’t leave. We don’t care. Really, we’ve all farted in public before.</p> <p>(photo via <a href="http://thisisnthappiness.com/post/9048341489">nevver</a>)</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/9048927501http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/9048927501Wed, 17 Aug 2011 16:23:21 -0400batman<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljuxcpY6d81qezny3o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>“Please sir,” the server said, “let me ensure that your milk is of adequate coldness.”</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8884313505http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8884313505Sat, 13 Aug 2011 19:58:29 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lptlfyVCMb1qbyf2jo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>It looks like this was done right after the founding fathers returned from their Bahamas vacation.</p> <p>(photo via <a href="http://bad-postcards.tumblr.com/post/8823055821">bad-postcards</a>)</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8825671844http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8825671844Fri, 12 Aug 2011 12:31:00 -0400PresidentsWax MuseumMuseumFloridaVintage PostcardVintageLOL<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpqvd2mgOf1qz5q5oo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>For a mere $7.95 you too can look like a perverted gym teacher! Call now, supplies are running low.</p> <p>(photo via <a href="http://mudwerks.tumblr.com/post/8763923166">mudwerks</a>)</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8786019257http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8786019257Thu, 11 Aug 2011 14:36:30 -04001973National Police Gazetteadvintagemen's stretch wigs<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpp0rqheSu1qbbjxvo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Sir, we’ve only been surfing the internet for a mere seven minutes. Be patient and something gross will popup when you least expect it.</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8733854418http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8733854418Wed, 10 Aug 2011 10:19:00 -0400Vintagefilm1934damesguy kibbee<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpmc29k6oH1qzw235o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Try the <a href="http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/fair-hunt.php"><strong>State Fair Scavenger Hunt</strong></a>!</p> <p>3. __Sweaty man with no shame<br/> 4. __Someone praying over fried food</p> <p>…</p> <p>15. __Sculpture made to look like food<br/> 16. __Food made to look like sculpture</p> <p>…</p> <p>40. __A Poison T-shirt<br/> 41. __The actual band Poison</p> <p><a href="http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/fair-hunt.php">Read the whole list!</a></p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8648781729http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8648781729Mon, 08 Aug 2011 12:49:21 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpfvz5qrwV1qd7ygho1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>This baby will kick over your sandcastle and make you change his diaper. This baby will cry for no reason and then steal your girlfriend. This baby will grab your car keys and throw them on the ground. This baby will fix your car as he mocks you.</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8520389870http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8520389870Fri, 05 Aug 2011 13:51:15 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpabgufCck1qzdi59o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>If you like cross dressing, that is fine, but please stop with these ridiculous lies.</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8479704163http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8479704163Thu, 04 Aug 2011 15:00:05 -0400<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lp6687weHR1qf83cro1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Wow, this is the easiest Joan Rivers costume I’ve seen today.</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8429080948http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8429080948Wed, 03 Aug 2011 11:09:33 -0400<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lp7hapsW081qzx4bjo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>And just like that, with the addition of a few Walmart plastic bags, Jessica felt like the most beautiful girl at the pool.</p>http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8429006572http://witsordagger.tumblr.com/post/8429006572Wed, 03 Aug 2011 11:06:21 -0400